How to Get There
Let the journey begin
This blog post is based on inspiration from Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.” The book helps you overcome your personality traits and behaviors that stop you from achieving even more success. “Success is more than just your job title. You don’t need a title to be a leader.”
Almost all the executives Goldsmith worked with had interpersonal issues in one form or another. These issues either did not matter in the early phases of their career, or these executives were so talented that they progressed in spite of those issues. In almost all cases, these executives eventually worked on their interpersonal skills to achieve the next rung on the professional ladder — continuous improvement in behavioral and interpersonal skills is necessary to achieve a certain level of success. Without that, people can become stuck in their belief that “I’m successful, why change if what I’m doing now is already working?” However, behavioral changes are the only substantial changes you can make as you advance in your career. Successful people believe that their past success is predictive of future successes, and they tend to resist change as a result.
Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. — Jack Welch
Why successful people resist change
One of the greatest mistakes that successful people make is assuming, “I behave this way, and I achieve results. Therefore, I must be achieving results because I behave this way.” In fact, four key beliefs that led us to succeed may actually be holding us back in our journey toward the next level of success.
1. I have succeeded
Successful people think that they have the skills and talent to keep winning. Successful people consistently consider themselves superior to their peers, and they exaggerate their contribution to the project. If you talk to every stakeholder for a given project and sum up their contribution, the sum will almost always far exceed 100%.
Suggestions: Leaders should not take credit, partial or complete, for success that genuinely belongs to others. Fairly and honestly measure what percentage of success is attributable to your skills and talent.
2. I can succeed
Successful people believe that they have the confidence to succeed — they see opportunities where others see challenges, they are not afraid of uncertainty or ambiguity, and they take more significant risks to achieve greater rewards in return. Successful people think that there is always a link between what they have done and how far they have come — even when there is no link.
Suggestions: Leaders should deeply assess whether their success is pure luck or a genuine outcome of their effort. In the case of the former, it will limit them from progressing further.
3. I will succeed
Successful people think that they have the motivation to succeed. They believe that if they have succeeded in the past, they can succeed now and will continue to succeed in the future. They only know success, so they practically consider it their due. To achieve that, successful people tend to do “whatever it takes.” This makes successful people extremely busy and prone to overcommitment. It is hard for a person with an “I will succeed” attitude to say no to opportunities. In most cases, it is not that executives are trying to “save a sinking ship;” rather, they are overcommitted because they are “drowning in a sea of opportunity.” The “I will succeed” attitude leads to staff burnout, high turnover, and a weaker team than the one they started with.
Suggestions: Leaders should avoid overcommitment tied to their personal aspirations. Sometimes, this overcommitment can result in misaligned priorities or ignoring things that could have an adverse long-term impact. A good litmus test for employees is to ask their leader about the driver for their aspiration: is this a personal goal or a genuine business need?
4. I choose to succeed
Successful people think that they are doing what they choose to do. When we do what we choose to do, we are committed. When we do what we have to do, we are compliant. The personal commitment of successful people encourages people to “stay the course” and not give up when the going gets tough.
Suggestions: Maintain a balance between commitment and compliance.
In many cases, our previous success prevents us from achieving more success. You have no idea how your behavior is coming across to the people who matter — your bosses, colleagues, subordinates, customers, partners, friends, and family members. It is unlikely that you are guilty of all these habits, but a few will certainly seem familiar. If only 1 out of 10 people say that you are guilty of a specific habit, let it go; if 6 out of 10 say it, work on improving your behavior in this area. Check yourself against the following habits that hold you back from the top.
Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do). -Stephen R. Covey
Successful people are simply those with successful habits. -Brian Tracy
Habits that keep you from the top
Successful people aren’t born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t like to do. ―William Makepeace Thackeray
Before we talk about specific habits, let’s talk about the high-level themes of interpersonal flaws: information and emotion.
1. Information flaws come in two forms: sharing when it is not required (e.g., sharing too much) and sharing too little, leading to information withholding.
2. Emotion flaws also come in two forms: sharing when it is not appropriate (or not sharing when appropriate) and conveying too much (or too little).
Information Flaws
The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. — Max DePree
Emotional Flaws
The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly. — Jim Rohn
How to change flaws for the better
The following table describes simple steps leaders can take to change these flaws for the better.
Rules to keep in mind
Here are the top rules that I found useful:
1. This process is meant to promote behavioral change only, not to gain technical knowledge or skills.
2. We do not need to change every single one of the habits mentioned above. Pick a couple that you expect to make the most significant difference.
3. Understand that it takes courage to admit that you need to change. It also takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to change successfully.
4. Be open to receiving candid feedback.
5. Do not worry about being perfect!
6. It is hard to change any behavior if you cannot measure it.
7. Figure out a way to monetize your results. For example, use small amounts of money as a punishment for bad behavior. As leaders tend to want to win, this helps them accelerate their behavior change.
8. The best time to change is now. The moment may never feel quite right, and there will always inevitably be roadblocks in the way. The fact remains that if we wait for the right time to change, we may wait forever.
What to stop doing
Half the leaders I have met do not need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.” — Peter Drucker
1. Stop letting your staff overwhelm you.
2. Stop acting as if you are managing yourself.
3. Stop “checking the box.”
4. Stop being prejudiced about your employees: (a). know what they want, (b). I know what they know, (c). I hate their selfishness, (d). I can always get someone else
5. Stop trying to coach people who are not coachable or should not be coached.
6. Stop trying to change people who are practicing the wrong strategy for the organization.
7. Stop trying to change people who think they do not have a problem.
8. Stop trying to change people who are not a fit for their current job.
9. Stop trying to help people who think others are the problem.
Try to ask your employees — why are they staying?
The following answers indicate a promising trajectory:
1. I am finding meaning and happiness. It is exciting to work here. I love what I am doing.
2. I like the people. They are my friends. This feels like a team. It feels like a family. I could make more money working with other people, but I do not want to leave the people here.
3. I can follow my dreams. This organization is giving me a chance to do what I really want to do in my life.
Wrap up
No matter how technically skilled or successful you are, interpersonal issues can derail even the most promising career. As a leader, it is important to acknowledge your flaws, seek consistent feedback, and build loyalty with your employees. Behavioral changes are the only significant change you can make as you advance your career. While it is important for a leader to learn what to start, it is equally important for them to learn what to stop. Based on my personal experience, I think most leaders exhibits habits: Adding too much value, failing to give recognition, or claiming undue credit, failing to express gratitude, playing favorites, or an excessive need to be me.
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